Purchase Some Condoms!

Make cool balloon animals!

Condoms, condoms, condoms!

So many purposes:

Stop STDs!
Prevent unwanted pregnancy!
Make cool balloon animals!

There are also condoms for guys, and condoms for girls!

They can be:

Flavored
Glow in the dark
Have funny shapes (for her pleasure)
Latex
Polyurethane
Lambskin
Large, Small, and Donkey size

They are usually made of latex or polyurethane.

Latex

We recommend you use a latex condom, as they are bit more reliable and available in most places. Latex condoms can only be used with water based lubricants only.

Avoid using oil based lubricants like Vaseline or cold cream as they will break down the latex.

Polyurethane

Polyurethane condoms are made from plastic. Yep, just like tupperwear they can keep your junk ‘fresh’. They are great for the peeps who are allergic to latex (ball rash…sign me up!). Don’t worry, only a small percentage of you will be allergic. If you are, your ‘berries’ will itch like crazy for a few days. Don’t worry, you don’t have AIDS. You just have an allergy.

Polyurethane condoms are thinner than latex condoms which means they increase sensitivity! So if you’re new to sexy time then you might last longer than an eye blink. Lucky girl! (Don’t worry, humpin and bumpin takes time to master. My grandpa is 92. He just figured it out!)

The good thing about Polyurethane condoms is that both oil and water based lubricants can be used with them.

We recommend you try latex and switch to Polyurethane if you have a problem.

Lambskin

There is also Lambskin, which is made of lambs. So if your girl is a vegetarian you can take special delight in sneaking one past her! It’s said to be thinner (and thus make you more sensitive) but it doesn’t protect as well against STD’s so we recommend latex over lambskin.

Yep, condoms are pretty rad. Plus they keep your love juice from going all over the place! If you’re masturbating, you probably don’t need condoms (unless you spray like a fire hose!) But you’re eventually going to want to have some ‘super happy time’ with your partner (or drunken party amigo), so you should know what they’re all about, and which ones to buy.

If you’re using a condom you’re most likely gonna want lube, or lubricant. It helps in making things ‘glide’ a little better. Slip n Slide! You can get vaginal dryness during intercourse (so much friction!). So be sure to have a personal lubricant on hand to keep the race running!

Caution!

Condoms can get OLD and TEAR! So be sure to look at the expiration date. Our crazy Uncle Charlie had a condom in his wallet for 13 years. 13 wasn’t lucky for him. It broke when he was ‘climbing’ his bear ladies ‘tree’ and now he’s got 13 cubs running around driving him nuts! So check that expiration date, sport!

Also, if you’re putting it in the back door, don’t stick it in the front door! Change the condom out or she can get a serious infection.

When you’re done with your condom be sure to feed it to your dog.

That’s a joke. Unless your dog is really perverse.

Simply drain your ‘soda pop’ in the toilet and then wrap the used condom up in some toilet paper and toss in the trash. Make sure it’s wrapped up tight or your kid sister could see it and think it’s a slinky. Your parents would be THRILLED!

So remember to pick the right condom, put it on carefully, use water based lubricant, and toss the used little bugger in the bin.

And be sure to connect with your partner. If you’re going to have sweaty fun, make sure it’s mutual and you sincerely like each other. Otherwise it’ll be a drag and you’ll feel bad about it. Sex is special so treat it as such.

If sex is too much for you (some people aren’t ready and should only do what they’re comfortable with), then you might try mutual masturbation, or masturbation with a vibrator.

For more detailed information visit Avert.org. It’s great! They even have a video on how to put on one. Check it out if you’re not sure.

Plus–

(shameless sales plug!)

You can buy them right here if you need some, or hope to need some (it’s good to dream!)

We recommend

Kimono Brand!