How To Masturbate for Guys!

If you want to know how guys masturbate, or you’re a guy who can’t figure it out, then this page is for you!

Simply play with the twig and berries and they ‘stand at attention!’   Seriously, you touch the darn thing and it pops up!  It’s like toaster strudel in your pants!

Once you play with them and got them ready to party, you need to start stroking.  But here’s where it gets tricky!  A lady can moisten herself so that masturbation is smooth.  Guys aren’t so lucky. They need to lubricated to really have some fun.  Masturbation is meant to simulate shagging, schwagging, or carpet bagging (not sure what that is but it sounded cool).

Essentially, if you don’t lubricate it hurts!  Rub your palm against your forearm for 20 minutes and see how good that feels!  OUCH!

So once your twig is ready to sprout some leaves, you want to pet it, focusing all the attention at the tip!  That’s where all the nerves are.  You need the rhythmic stroking PLUS touching the tip to ‘pull the rabbit’ out of your hat.  It will take some practice to get this right but once you find the ‘secret formula’ you’ll never forget it.  It’s like riding a bike.  A really cool bike that pumps chemicals into your brain that make you rush with excitement for 30 seconds! Say no to drugs, but yes to wanky-wank!

Other than the physical aspects, guys and girls are very similar.  They both need to focus on the feeling and sensations.  You have to be in the mood and horny!  Mindset is so important.

Girls like feelings and sensations, while guys like to see boobs!  That’s why guys usually masturbate to adult films. Boobs are very important to guys and they like to see them.

For guys, we recommend buying some lubricant, or investing in a good bottle of hand lotion!

If you’re in the shower, you can use hair conditioner.  Just avoid the shampoo or soap.  It will burn ‘your eye’ and you will cry.  Masturbating is fun, burning your twig is not!

For more great info on how to masturbate, visit the main page!

Also be sure to check out our male sex toys page!  It’s for the adventurous guy only!  (Or your crazy Uncle Charlie…he bungee jumps!)